I feel like flaming bag of crap. I told Lee that I had nothing to say today. I had an ear ache last night. I didn’t sleep well at all. Plus, I went to a concert on Tuesday night and I think I maxed out my happiness for the week. Used up all my seratonins for the week and now I am left in a miserable grey haze.
Lee said to me—isn’t this when you are supposed to blog? First, I said no. I don’t want to write some trash piece about how crummy I feel. Plus, people have come to expect me to be cheery, funny and engaging. You can’t engage anyone when you feel like this. Finally, I can’t leave character. I am selling something here. I am selling community! Wait a second. That’s not right. I have misstepped.
Since I am writing this post, I think you know what conclusion I came to. I had to blog and, in this instance, I had to blog about feeling blue. I am writing because I do not want to allow myself to censor who I am and be open and part of the community—willing to admit that even I (yes, the great I) have bad days and feel down in the dumps. However, I do realize that you do not necessarily want to come here and listen to my list my woes. I think it’s important, as a blogger, to know how to navigate the downs.
Robin Hood is definitely my favourite Disney movie of all time. I didn’t own it as a child (still don’t actually), but my friend did and every time I went to her house I requested that we watch it. I think she might have gotten sick of it, but I never did. Not in Nottingham has got to be the saddest song in any Disney movie. Exposing children to such sadness—perhaps that’s something worth censoring. Nevertheless we have the capacity to write beautiful words even when we are feeling so low. That’s what I mean by navigating the downs.
The important thing to come to understand is how and what brings us down. Usually, for me, when I am tired I have a really hard time controlling my emotions and I tend to get melodramatic. But, I have found that when I recognize how I am feeling—though it doesn’t change how I feel—I am able to rise above it mentally and usually come up with something decent. Usually, I do all the sad stuff I can (listen to sad music, read/write sad poetry, etc.) so that I can get to the climax of my sadness and start moving in the other direction. That’s part of why I am writing this. The other part is sharing. The trick is maintaining a semblance coherency without falling apart.
I have to get all my sadness out so that I can believe again that Robin Hood is coming to rescue me (and he is). When you come up against a problem you have to write the problem.
Photo by Sister72
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2 Comments
You’ve just reminded me of one of my favorite childhood Disney cartoons too. Now I have no choice but to buy the DVD.
There some that are just worth having.