Yesterday, like any other good and self-respecting metrosexual, I got my eyebrows waxed (and threaded). My eyebrows have potentially great lines, but unfortunately my monkey attributes take over and tiny little hairs start popping out all over the place until I look like a furry, unibrow caveman. So, every month or so, I take care of myself, spend $15 and have the nice lady pour scalding wax on my face and then tear the hairs from the skin.
I read an interesting post yesterday of how to save thousands of hours by not writing as much (”My ‘content is king’ belief was directly responsible for the loss of hundreds and maybe thousands of hours of my time”). The premise of the post makes sense. Write only quality stuff, less frequency and use the rest of the time to market or do jumping-jacks or picking your nose. But what about creating intimacy?
You know what I could have done to save 10, at least 20 dollars and probably 25 minutes of my life?! I could have gone straight home yesterday and had my wife pluck my eyebrows. Rhett, what the hell is wrong with you? Think of those savings! Well, let me tell you about the problem with intimacy—you are too intimate. Brilliant, I know. Please, don’t applaud.
My wife knows me and I am a total wuss. Frankly, I would (and have) whined and cried and scream and yelled if she tried to come at me with tweezers. Leah and I know each other too well and are too comfortable around each other. However, when I go to the scalding-wax lady social etiquette says that I can’t whine/cry/scream/yell at her. I have to be tough. I am not allowed to give into my inner wuss. It’s time to man-up and get my eyebrows groomed.
The problem with intimacy is that you can’t fake it. Maybe a small tear slipped out during the waxing yesterday, but I maintain that was just because she was pulling out hairs near my eyes and so… it… made a tear… come out. It hurts, a lot. Okay? Lay off. But I am beautiful for it.
The problem with creating intimacy on your blog is that people are going to know when you aren’t really engaged or when you are dreaming about other, younger blogs. No one is crying out Problogger anymore. It’s all Oh Ittybiz or Mmm MenWithPens.
Wow, that was a real tangent. Plus, if there ever was an analogy in this post I totally destroyed it. But you don’t need analogies, you aren’t four years old. You don’t need stories about Buzz Lightyear, no matter how dreamy you are. Okay maybe sometimes we need analogies. Lord have mercy, get on topic Rhett.
Maybe Mr. Save-Thousands-of-Hours was right in saying that creating content for the sake of content doesn’t and has never made sense. You will never save time, but you can use the time you have to offer insightful information and connect with the community around you. Create intimacy where it makes sense, like on your blog.
Creating quality content will always be a hit. Creating quality content with a sense of intimacy and sharing will be a knock-out. (Do you ever get a sense when you write closing lines like that one that you are a huge cornball? Me neither.)
Photo by Cia de Foto (You should check out this persons photos, they are fantastic)
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10 Comments
What about just being Charming! Do you have to get down to your skivees and reveal intimate details like if you pluck too much fill in with eye liner or marker! Obiviously you want to be sincere.
Hmm. Interesting post.
I agree that no one should be creating content if their heart isn’t in it. Why bother?
On the other hand, there’s no hard fast rule that says posts need to be intimate or reveal personality. While Problogger doesn’t turn everyone’s crank for intimacy, it certainly does have good, solid information in its posts that help many people be better bloggers. Nothing wrong with that, and while it may bore you, it’s a bit silly to say that only intimate content is good content.
It’s also interesting that you group our blog in with the intimate ones. Sure, we use more personality and so does IttyBiz - we aim for entertaining and informative.
But then again, it seems you’re passing judgment on who is offering genuine personality based on the posts that you feel you like or don’t like - and that’s a pretty big assumption. While some readers may not like Buzz or Naomi’s cursing or any number of other bloggers’ posts, I don’t think it’s possible for you to know who was genuine in their personality when they wrote it.
Of course, I could have taken the wrong message from your post, so if I did, forgive me. And like I said, your mention of lost hours over crap content is a good one and worth writing. Well done.
I think all you only need to go as far as you feel comfortable. And if you are over-plucking, it’s time to see a professional. It’s not that expensive!
James, I don’t think you took the wrong message; however, you may have taken me a bit too seriously. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful to Darren. Darren creates a sense of intimacy in his own ways often. Frankly, the video posts he does offer a sense of intimacy. Long story short, I like Darren and Problogger and read it daily. But Darren’s been around a lot longer than most and thus I tried to make a joke about cheating on Problogger with a younger blog.
In regards to passing judgment—I suppose you are right. Is it wrong that I like one style of writing over another? Or is it because I am in the genre of meta-blogging that if I speak ill (which I didn’t do, but for the sake of argument) of one of my contemporaries that would be frowned upon?
There is a musician in Canada who got in trouble a few years ago because he was asked if there were other musicians in Canada that he liked (or didn’t). And he answered by mentioned a group that he didn’t like. Which, of course, the media ate up. But his response was why he wasn’t allowed to have an opinion. Are we to hide our opinions when we are public personas? I don’t know the answer to that. But it seems like an interesting discussion.
And why wouldn’t be able to tell who has genuine personality? Being genuine usually takes a bit more energy and effort and I know that some days I don’t always feel up to it. Hopefully, I am a good enough judge of character that I can tell if someone is being genuine or not or whether they are truly engaged with me or just patronizing me.
And thanks for stopping by and keep up the good work!
Hm, interesting choice of words. A blogger is never truly engaged with *you* (in the general sense of the word). Bloggers are writing for a fictional audience of one, really - they know someone is reading, but who? They aren’t engaged with you. They’re engaged with a concept. But I do see what you mean - just pointing out the words.
Of course patronizing is a whole different story. That, I get. No questions there.
There’s a difference, too, between having an opinion and a preference and passing judgment. “I like AC/DC.” Preference. “I think AC/DC rocks.” Opinion. “I think AC/DC is better than Chris Brown, who comes off as some lazy teenstar wanna be.” Judgment. Or even, “I think AC/DC rocks.” Opinion. “You suck because you like Chris Brown.” Woo.. judgment.
Anyways, I need more coffee. We’re probably on the same page
I DISAGREE! Hehe. Well, I do disagree, but not in all caps. I disagree about whether or not a blogger is engaged with me. Or rather I agree that a blogger needs to be engaged with a subject and if said blogger is not engaged with the subject then he is not engaged with me. That being said, I always write as if I am the audience and so it’s pretty easy for me to know when I am or am not engaged. I’m an existentialist, so sue me. Or some sort of egomaniac.
The one thing I am not clear on is whether or not you think making a judgment is wrong? I think you are saying that’s not appropriate. If you are saying that than I would respond that there’s nothing wrong with making judgments. We do it all the time. It’s how I picked clients or friends or authors I read.
I think we are on the same page, but I am on the top of the page because I am slower reader
DAMMIT! I AGREE!
Actually, my associations with the word judgment (negative; someone telling you how to live/be/think/act based on their beliefs without respect for yours; generally involves someone looking down their nose at you) make me very cautious of the concept in general.
Opinions (positive; personal preference; decision) have good associations.
Word games. I get tricky that way sometimes. We’re on the same page. And who says you get to be on top, huh?
Um, nice save on shoulder to shoulder! LOL! As I read the post I did not exactly disagree but thought that perhaps it is more of question about authenticity rather than intimacy. I am a huge fan of business blogs that have a great community (people who have assembled around a common interest and who enjoy sharing and discussions thoughts and ideas about that subject) but those blogs certainly do not qualify as “intimate.” However, the blogs and bloggers are true to their purpose and provide great information and topics for discussion. I definitely do not think a blog has to be intimate to be good. However, I do respect that some will choose to read intimate blogs and may not find other content sites to their liking. I also prefer opinion to judgment. In my opinion, great post and I enjoyed reading about the eyebrow waxing.
@ James - I guess with shoulder-to-shoulder there’s no way for use to lock in (see first episode, second season of Scrubs for reference.)
@ Karen - I agree that a blog doesn’t have to be intimate to be good. I suppose it has a lot to do with what you are looking for. However, I think that more often than not, the internet is devoid of humanity and any time we can bring ourselves in, as much as possible, it can only benefit. Oh and I am glad you enjoyed my pain
Rhett, oh yes the pain was most enjoyable.
The internet is filled with humans but lacking humanity - so true. The funny thing is we (collective cyber denizens) continue to huddle in our cyber circles perpetuating these offenses without realizing that we can branch out of our neighborhoods to invite others into the community, you know like real people who don’t blog. Yes dear friend there are people out there who like to be entertained or informed and they are not hiding behind an avatar. Imagine how we could change the blogsopshere if we injected not only humanity but human beings. 